"Come What May and Love It"

Other titles I thought of for this post:
Bring.It.ON
Crappity Crap Crap Crap
Hole-EE crap
Seriously?Seriously?Seriously?
Are you kidding me?
Through Adversity Comes Joy

I've been creating this post in my mind for days. And, actually, I couldn't decide whether or not to post it at all. One of the reasons I'm so sick of blogging is because blogging, and being a good blogger, includes reading others' blogs. I seriously think everyone only posts the good stuff about their seemingly perfect lives. I know I do. But. I'm sick of it. I am a real person and I have a real life. Not some perfect life like everyone else. You wanna know about my un-perfect, perfectly real life? Read on.

We have problems. Hardcore problems. EVERYTHING in and around us keeps breaking. I can't even tell you how sick I am of things around here breaking. Here's a list:

-I washed my cell phone in my pocket, I never even use my pockets and the one time I do happens to be a cell phone I just replaced in November! So, don't call me or text me because I won't get it.
-Our TV won't turn on. It hasn't since August. I think it was Marshall because it coincided with him pouring milk on it while I was showering one morning.
-I just replaced the battery in our home phone before Christmas and it won't keep a charge. We get about 10 minutes of talk time first thing in the morning but even then it beeps the battery warning the whole time. Super annoying.
-There are so many things in our apartment that are broken, it warrants its own little subcategory:

• The door frame to our bedroom is corroded and won't hold the screws on the hinges so therefore the door is off.
  
• We have one kitchen drawer that completely fell apart and several that go in funny and are a pain to get open and could break at any given moment.
• Have I mentioned that our wall in our living room is STILL NOT FINISHED?! We told the managers about it back in August!
  
• The door to the dryer opens mid-dry, thus stopping the cycle and leaving our clothes damp unless something heavy is there blocking it from doing so.
• The light in Marshall's bedroom takes about 10 flicks before it finally turns on.
• The toilet paper roll holder and towel holder have been off the wall almost since we moved in. No one bothered to find studs when they were putting them in.
• Marshall took a bath on Thursday and when he went to drain the water the drain was broken.
• Our computer is at the repair center again and we barely got it in before the warranty expired.
• And, last night we came home and the power cord to John's laptop from work had stopped working.

Not to mention the car. Oh, the car. I posted about our car breaking down the night before Christmas Eve. Well, it gets better. A week and a half ago, the day I declared "Freedooooom" about having the car all day? Well, the car was acting weird. The next day, Saturday, John went to school in the morning but the car wouldn't start after class. He went to Checker, bought a new battery, and being the efficient man he is, replaced it himself. Later that night I was out with a friend and the lights started dimming on the dashboard and the RPMs were all weird when I accelerated. We made it to our first destination just in time for it to die. To make a long story short, it was the alternater and we got the car back on Tuesday after having it replaced. Keep in mind, we still owe the mechanic all but $100 from back in December and we wouldn't even have had that much to give him if some generous, kind person hadn't left us a money card that very morning (thank you and bless you!). Then, on Friday John's boss sent him to get him some sushi for lunch. John was on the freeway when the car died. And I do mean DIED. We no longer have a car. The engine died and it's $6200 to fix it which is way more than the car is even worth. And to think this whole week I'd been dreaming up plans in my head to buy a second car. Yeah. Right. Upon hearing the news, I did what any other person would do. I cried. And then I laughed. I'm still laughing because that's all I can do to keep myself from crying. Honestly, this is just the icing on the cake. There is so much other stuff going on right now that I can't even talk about.

All week John kept voicing our thoughts, "Why? Why us? When we're working so hard at doing what we should be, why is all this happening?" "Well," I would tell him, "it's a test to see if we will remain faithful." So, each day we kept praying and reading the scriptures and I was looking forward to Sunday, the day of ultimate temptation, when we would show up to church and say "Look! We're here! Satan tried to keep us away and stop us from having faith but we're here." Well, he sure did try. When our upstairs neighbors showered Sunday morning the water backed up into our bathtub and filled it 3/4 of the way full. I showered at my mom's while John waited for the plumber at home. After he left he and Marshall quickly showered. By that time we were going to be so late and Coen needed to be fed and I was so tempted to just stay home. I knew that that was exactly what the adversary would want and he would win. So, we packed ourselves up (into John's mom's car) and headed to church. I quickly fed Coen in the mother's room during the last minutes of sacrament meeting and then we headed to Gospel Doctrine. As we listened to the lesson I felt the spirit start to comfort me. A few minutes into it the teacher was talking about Joseph Smith and how he had trial after trial after trial with the gold plates and translation but after all the hardships, look what we had for it. Wow. That was totally what we needed to hear. I looked at John and he had a funny look on his face so I asked him "What?" and he confirmed what I was thinking and I'm so glad we both heard it. Now, enter the title of the post. When the Relief Society teacher passed out the handout I saw the title "Come what may and love it." A huge smile spread over my face. John and I had read the conference talk by Elder Wirthlin just a couple weeks ago and I knew I'd be hearing another message I was supposed to that day. I was so glad I'd made it to church that day despite the feeling of despair at what was going on in our lives. That morning as I was getting ready I had a thought. I've been reading "Covenant Hearts: Marriage and the Joy of Human Love" by Bruce Hafen. In it he talks about joy and how we get it. He says that only through adversity can we find joy. As I thought about this it came to me...some day we are going to be so damn happy!

I remain faithful and hopefull that everything will work out. We will find a way to buy a new car and it will be okay. I also know that a lot of people out there have it worse than I do. I wouldn't trade our problems right now with anyone elses. The Lord only gives us what we can handle. I'm finding out just how strong of a person I am and how much I can take. So, to him I say "Bring.It.On." I know it could be worse, so much worse and I haven't even touched at the bigger problems in our lives and this is only a small percentage of our trials right now.

I'm so thankful for so many things. I'm so glad John has a good job. His company is amazing and he works with inspiring people that he can learn and gain from. He has great benefits and perks like subsidized lunch which saves us a lot of money and free diet Coke which saves us even more money. I'm thankful we're all healthy and that we live in an age where John's diabetes can be so well monitored and controlled. I'm so so thankful that our boys are strong and healthy and continue to grow and develop normally. I'm glad we have a roof over our head, despite it's contents' crumbly nature. I'm thankful for food even though some weeks it's scrambled eggs and toast for dinner two or three nights. I'm greatful for family close by that lends us support, cars, babysitting, and especially food. I'm thankful for my problems and trials, because honestly I do know it could be worse and like I said, I wouldn't trade them for anyone else's right now.

I'm faithful and hopeful. I know things will be okay if we continue to do what we're doing. Things can only get better from here. This is what I keep telling myself when I start to doubt. Things will work out. They have to. Until then, I'll keep laughing because that's all I can do.

You can laugh too. John's sister showed this to us on Sunday and I was laughing hysterically. I had to share something funny after a post like that!

Do the Happy Dance!

MY INCISION IS HEALED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On New Year's Eve Day my doctor stitched up my incision as it was. He said there was enough granulation tissue to try getting it to heal that way. He figured it was the least invasive way to do it and avoid a surgery where he would cut out the skin around it to make a fresh cut (we had discussed in-office vs. operating room). When I went in the following Monday he gave me three possibilities for when he took the stitches out: 1- it would be the same 2- it would be half the size it had been and 3- it would be completely healed. He leaned towards 2, that it would be improved but not completely. So the following Friday, a week and 2 days after he'd stitched it, he took them out and...it was halfway healed. The width of the incision had decreased by half. While that was good news, he was a little uncertain what to do next. He spoke with his wife who works in wound care or something about me and she said they tell their patients to keep it moist with neosporin or vaseline to heal it. So, still trying to avoid putting me under in the O.R., he told me to put neosporin on it 3 or 4 times a day. All week long I kept looking at it every time I reapplied to see if it was getting better. Much to my surprise (and great relief) it slowly started to heal. It was kinda weird watching it. At first the middle of it started growing together, then the edges started filling in and each time I looked at it it had come together a little more. I am SOOOO happy! Just knowing that I'm healed and finally over my recovery has made my spirits lift! (That and I had full use of my car today because I took John to work. FREEEEEEEEDOM! - said like Braveheart) Anyway, yay! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I can't wait to hit the gym!

Coen at 3 Months

Coen rolled over from tummy to back not once, not twice but four times today! At his two month visit he weighed 11 pounds 4 oz, and was in the 68th percentile for height at 24 inches long. He is super smiley and has been since about 6 weeks old. He has started laughing in the last week or so which is really fun to hear! He is still not on a sleep schedule. We'll have a really good day or night and I think "okay, we'll do this again tomorrow" but it never happens two days in a row. It seems like right as I'm about to go to bed for the night he wakes up and wants to play for an hour or two more! Like right now, I was about to go to sleep and he wakes up! So, he's doing tummy time because I'm sure that wears him out and he can practice his new trick for John. Naptimes during the day are hard too. He wakes up the second I put him down and I just don't have the time to sit and get him back to sleep because I have so much to do! Life with a newborn and older kid(s) is tough. He's getting really strong and is starting to go for really long stretches on his tummy. He can hold a toy in his hand and bring it to his mouth and he reaches for toys or whatever is in front of him. He loves to watch Marshall and Maddie running around and playing. We blessed him on Sunday and John did a wonderful job. I'll post pictures of that and a video of the rolling over once I get my computer back, I'm on John's laptop cuz mine keeps breaking.

Also, I know you don't care what my kids are up to (you know who you are) but really, this blog is a journal of sorts for my record. I'm thinking of going private and just having it be for me. I'm sorta tired of blogging for other people to read, or not read looking at the lack of comments recently. That's why I put up the poll. Are people burning out from blogging? It doesn't seem like people are updating or commenting as much. Why do you think that is? I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

And...My diploma came today!!! Hurray, it's finally official - I am the proud recipient of a bachelor's degree!

Marshall

"I don't want to get older but Jesus keeps growing me!"

After he accidentally dropped a light saber on Coen's head, he cried, "I just can't be a big brother!"

"Grammy, you must think I'm a pet. You keep rubbing my head."